charlie
My Mum Passed away just over a year ago. My father has started dating someone and as much as it is hard I am happy for him. He has been seeing her for 2 Months - and I met her 2 weeks ago. We have been to dinner, a party together and she has been round our house a lot and it has been really nice and I enjoyed it and I am glad, my Dad seems happier. Since meeting her she stayed round - my dad didn't tell us this was going to happen and it shocked me, made me angry and upset me and my Dad have a good relationship and so I spoke to him about it I asked that he gives us (me, my brother, and sister) a bit more time to get used to a new person etc before she starts staying over as we feel it is a big jump from her just popping round. He said no he's not going to give us that option and that he doesn't care how we feel. I have respected his feelings and I don't know how to deal with the fact that he has said he doesn't respect ours or he's going to ignore them. Are we overreacting or are our feelings justified and fair. How can I get him to see that it is a big step for me and my siblings to see a new person sleeping in my mums bed just yet, at least give us the chance to get used to having her within any aspect of our life first. This is no way reflects the woman she is lovely - Dad has told me she said "are you sure the kids are okay with it all" he lies and said it's fine.
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. Are we well within your right to feel however you feel, this is a situation with many complicated emotions are involved. And I'm sure it must be difficult to see someone else taking up the space where your mother used to be. If you feel that your father is being insensitive, unfortunately there isn't a whole lot you can do beside try to discuss the situation with him and how uncomfortable you and your siblings are. Try to understand where he's coming from first, as he may feel that you're judging him, but make sure that you and your siblings' feelings are heard. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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