conas

Hi everyone, I need a bit of advice if possible. I cheated on my girlfriend of ten years with a friend from home. She got pregnant and I'm now i'm going to be a single dad. The mother is due to give birth any day and we are currently not speaking. Our main issue is that she wants me to move to where she lives so we can look after the baby together. I live 260km away with a good job in Dublin and see lives in Cork. I wanted to move home where both our parents live in Donegal which is 380km from Cork. I have been travelling every weekend for the last two months fixing her house and getting stuff for the baby. She wants me to travel every weekend to Cork when the baby is here. This leaves me no time to visit my family in Donegal (siblings and parents) or do anything else. I don't want to move to Cork as it's too far away from home and I know nobody there and I would have to leave my job. I think this is a big ask to demand of someone. Also I will be down every week when the baby is born until after Christmas anyway but how do I ever get a weekend to go home as she thinks that's the least I can do if I don't move down. What would be a normal visiting schedule for someone living in a different city? Should I move to Cork and have more of a part to place in my child's life even if it is something I wouldn't want to do? My and the mother have a really high conflict relationship as well were we have massive fights weekly. Any advice is appreciated
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation. You need to have a long hard think about what you want from this situation and what you think is best. It sounds like you're having a hard time balancing everything and that the relationship between you and the mother is strained. Have you discussed the situation with your family? Maybe they have some advice. It sounds like you feel pressured by what the mother thinks you should be doing, but you need to think this through yourself and make your own decision, she or anyone else can't make it for you. You may find it helpful to read our articles on shared parenting. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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