Mrstiggywinkle
I am not happy and I don't know what to do about it. 
We've had a lot going on the past year with house moves and minor renovations and husband randomly deciding to change his job to self employed in the middle of it all. So I can expect that there would be some strains on our relationship however something has been up in my opinion since our son was about 4 weeks old and he yelled at him to shut up when he was screaming with colic and reflux. 
It's been a steady spiral of more and more things to be unhappy about and I find it difficult to write exactly what the problem is because there 're so many layers to it. 
It's like we've got the problems that started earlier on in our relationship: sex, money, communication and connection
Then the post child problems which are new and include a definite problem where parenting is concerned and I just don't know what to do. I'm having anxiety theraappy (whichive had before) and everything we discuss comes back to my marriage bsivlly. To the point where relationship therapy has been suggested. And now I'm bordering depression as the state of anxiety has goneon for so long. 
My husband works a lot on his new business and is very driven to make lots of money which isn't a priority for me but I am grateful for and see the importance to a degree  but he is impossible to talk to, always on his phone or tablet or Xbox or he's asleep. He misses great chunks of everything staring at the screen and gets very defensive when I try to get him off. He shouts at our son before using a gentle voice to start with and is always tired or plugged in rather than fully giving attention. 
He talks to me like a miserable teenager and although he always thanks for dinner and occassionlly other stuff I just feel like his mum. We haven't had sex for 6 months and even before our son come long he he decided we would only have sex on Sunday mornings in the bed. Over time I've tried date nights and everything to get the sex going but he never pit the time in and shot me down so often I started to feel embarrassed to even try and make moves. This led to a lack of connection in the bedroom and he started making it really awkward when I tried to do it, like giggling and being weird about it to the point where he put me off and now I just have stopped trying and we just don't have sex anymore which says a lot about who was making all the effort there. 
He still tries to be sweet and give cuddles and be overly silly but he switches between that and miserable so rapidly I can't keep up so I feel like I'm pushing him away now. 
I deff think we need therapy but it's expensive and im scared to mention it as I've tried in the past and it's not gone well at all. He's stubborn and takes everything personally and everyone I've tried to tell him my feelings bout anything he somehow makes out like he's the victim o I just don't know how to say it without him getting mad nd walking off. He switches personalities so quickly nd keep denying saying stuff as he his reply be memory that its making me feel crazy.
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familylives
Hi, thank you so much for your post. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a unhappy time. I can see that you have tried so much to get the connection back within your marriage. It must feel very one-sided and it is no wonder that it is making you feel so low. Do you think he would be open to couple counselling? Have you tried to tell him how you truly feel? I am wondering whether writing him a letter to tell him how you are feeling and why might make him open up about how he feels and why there is a disconnection at present. Family life with young children can be so exhausting and things can take a toll. I would strongly suggest you read this article from Relate and also I would recommend having a chat with our support team via the helpline on 0808 800 2222 or you can email us at askus@familylives.org.uk. We are here for you so please do not feel alone.
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