Dreamers
Just wondered if anyone has been in my situation. I have a daughter who is on the autistic spectrum and suffered severe anxiety. She doesn't go out alone but has been talking to a bit a few months older for about a year off and on they wanted to meet up  however  he lived in Wales and is in the army we live in kent. She is nearly 17 and was happy to meet him with someone with her and he was willing to travel however my husband is having none of it. Unfortunately it is similar to get elder sisters experience who was in a relationship with a controlling person and made the decision  to move to the Midlands even though it was against my advice ( I made sure her father did not know how bad things were until she told him )  it then caused emotional and financial difficulties to fetched home which she kept changing her mind about due to get partners controlling behaviour. My attitude is if a teen is going to decide to do something  they will do it  more so out of rebellion  at this age so I would rather support my daughters decisions and advice her if problems that could arise but at least I know where she is and she is safe and not feeling the need to hide things. My husband will not have any of it and says it's nothing infinity what happened with our older daughter ( although I know this is part of it ) I think he feels he might be to blame for letting her go but she was over 18  living with her partner's parents and had a job they then brought a house together. I have tried to explain even if a relationship goes wrong it's hard to admit even if you live  near family  but I feel  teens have to lead their lives the way  they want and if it does go wrong support them and help them move on .
It's now caused a major argument between myself and husband and an upset teen and a bit who is now keeping a distance because he doesn't want to come between her and her family . I am now feeling like  I am stuck between  my husband and supporting my daughter
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation. Communication is key in situations like this and most especially with your daughter. From what you've written, it's unclear why your partner doesn't want her going, and it seems to me that you've outlined a simple meeting with someone else there to look out for your daughter and then she's coming back home? If you can get some clarity on why he refuses to let this happen then perhaps the communication would go smoother, it's important that you're all on the same page. It's understandable that he'd be worried about her and being taken advantage of. On the other hand your daughter needs her own freedoms. You may find it helpful to read our articles on family life. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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