Laura
Hi, myself and my partner got together around 4 years ago, he has a daughter now 15, and I have a daughter now 12.  Having found out that my daughter has lied to protect me about not wanting to live with him anymore, as he upsets me, she has moved out to my parents house.  Its been nearly 2 months of her not living there, my partner has changed, and started to re-introduce her back into our family life, me being better (as suffer with depression) me being happier with the changes he is making, him sorting professional help etc, but she has stated she's never be able to forgive/forget and doesn't want to move back.

Do I persue the situation, sit down and talk to her about what changes he's making, and just a couple of hours once this weekend - she's not going to have seen the changes.  or do I let my childs feelings rule.  In her eyes ive given him enough chances???
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation. Considering your child's feelings is important and living in a situation where they do not feel safe or trust a caregiver can have major effects upon a child's emotional wellbeing. It may take time for her to see changes, but the choice to forgive is her's and she may never do that. I can't tell you what to do, that's up to you to decide. You may find it helpful to read our articles on step-families. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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Laura
Thank you for this, since our first chat, my daughter has been back for a couple of nights here and there, and stayed a whole weekend.  She has stated she doesn't like (as most kids don't) see me and my partner being lovey dovey in public, so we're not to kiss or hold hands etc, part of me understands this as I don't think i'd like to see my parents kiss in front of me at the age of 40, however, she stipulates it at home too - its as if she's putting a wedge between us.  I understand this can be normal attitude from kids, however how do I talk to her about it, ie we'll not be too lovey/kissing in public, but in our own home? - or is it just a case of me maybe instigating it and not him, if she see im happy to cuddle up then it wont be such a problem to her.  so difficult. 
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familylives
Hi again, it great that things seem to be going better. This sounds like typical teen behaviour. Mostly, people tend to pay this no mind, obviously don't take it too far but if she see's that you're happy that may help her understand your feelings better despite her distaste at seeing it. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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