NB
Hi I'm new to this but looking for any advice. I have 2 sons 15 & 12to a previous relationship we split up 10yrs ago. It has always been strained between me an there dad as he is not the easiest person to communicate with but as the boys got older I communicated less with him an allowed the boys to do it. 
My 12 Yr old son has been pushing the boundaries with me an my husband lately an he didn't like the house rules we set so he decided he would like to live with his dad. I allowed this thinking he would soon come home but have learnt that his dad is so much less strict it has been 10 weeks now an his behaviour has spiralled he has been caught smoking been in fights attempting to shop lift an spends most of his time wandering the streets my son has had very little communication with us since he left and I'm so worried he is going to get into serious trouble whilst in his dad's care I have rang early prevention team who seem to be ensuring his safely at school an giving his dad parenting teenager advice but it's the relationship I have or lack of at the moment I don't know how I should approach this without him hating me for always nagging at him about his bad behaviour on the rare occasions I do see him it always ends in arguments an he storms out. 
Quote
familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and troubling situation. I understand that you don't want him to hate you, but stopping yourself from trying to help him because of this isn't entirely helpful, sometimes children will hate their parents for the most simple of matters. As teens begin puberty, a lot of things change as I'm sure you're aware, and sometimes a child will want to push boundaries and rebel against everything you want them to do. I know it's hard, but sticking to your guns while still trying with him is usually a good root to go down. Is there a way to get the father to be more involved or to at least discuss the situation with them? If you feel that his behaviour has had an extreme change, then you could discuss this with your GP. You may find it helpful to read our articles on teenage behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
Quote