Sam B
I am a 43 year old Mum who had to leave home due to physical and mental illness. The situation was getting toxic for everyone...

After leaving I didn't realise after 12 years of renovations etc. that I would be left with nothing...

It has been a tough journey, but finally I have a rental close to my own house 💜

My son has everything - family and money us no issue. As I now rely on benefits never claimed ever and I still struggle some days with my health I am trying to connect with my 9 year old son, which has been really hard...

He is welcome at mine, but he is very angry as he doesn't really understand what is going on. When he is with me he is fine, but due to his anxiety he likes to do things at his house, but this runs my ex partner up the wrong way and he plays up...

I have tried cooking meals, organising a few events, helping at school again and even suggested walking him back from school one day...

With limited funds and an extended ex family that do not like me it makes it very hard for my son as he is modelling their behaviour...

How do I just organise time with him without forcing it too much as I seem to be an after thought each week ? 💜
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation. It sounds like you've been through a lot and are struggling quite a bit. You're only just back on your feet and this must have been a drastic change for your son as it was for you, as you said he may not understand the situation. Children react emotionally as they don't have the maturity or the tools to think logically about these things, he may be angry at you for a long time because he doesn't understand and trusts his feelings. You'll have to keep at it to show him that you're not just going to leave again. Like recovering, these things take time and in your situation one step at a time may be the best route. You may find it helpful to read our articles on shared parenting and child behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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