sarahjm
My son, his partner and their 2 1/2 year old, lived with us for 2 years whilst they saved for a house.  Unfortunately, the relationship has broken down and my son's partner has moved out with their daughter.  All is amicable with access but, our granddaughter cries when my son has to take her back to her mother.  Its not that our granddaughter doesn't want to be with her mum, it's because she doesn't like living where they currently are.  It's heartbreaking hearing a nearly 3 year old say that she wants to come back to nanny and grandad's. Any advice?
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familylives
Hi, thank you for your post. It must be so heartbreaking for you to witness this and I can understand why you are looking for others to share their experiences. It may be that your granddaughter's mum is also feeling similar stress so maybe have a chat with her to find out what is the best way to support her and your granddaughter when she is upset about going home. If you can show mum that you want to be consistent and on the same page as her, she will feel supported and this will help your granddaughter. I hope this helps.
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sarahjm
Thank you for your suggestion. To be honest, I am worried about mentioning anything to my granddaughter's mother in case she decides to restrict visits thinking this will stop my granddaughter from becoming upset. Thank you for your reply.
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familylives
Hi thanks for your response. I feel if you were to go in with asking her how you can help support her, she will feel supported so will want to give you some kind of direction. If you need further support, please do email us at askus@familylives.org.uk
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sarahjm
Thank you, that does make sense.
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Jack
Hi my grandchildren come to my house and when it’s time to go home that’s when the tears start it’s not that they don’t want to be home and I understand fully your concerns it might be when I I’m at nanny’s house I get spoilt I was in same position my daughter would be leaving for work and my grandchildren didn’t want to be with there daddy they wanted me my mind ran away with all sorts I’d go and check up while mummy was at work thinking he was just laying about he would forget to feed her all kinds then one day I thought I’ll just not go to hers let her be with daddy till her mummy finished work my little monkey my granddaughter had the best day ever with her daddy I think my son-in-law was just fed up with me he weren’t soft he new I was thinking he weren’t capable of doing anything and my daughter was realising why I was going started to defend her hubby I thought about what I was doing if my husbands mum kept turning up while my kids were little thinking I couldn’t cope I would be really offended I have learnt to accept I was actually making my son-in-law feel incapable to mind his own daughter in now there when they need me if they need childcare they would ask I’m ashamed that I doubted they were incapable of being parents I don’t worry now and the difference it has made my relationship towards me and my lovely little family is perfect x
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sarahjm
Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts with me.  It does help to read others peoples views.  It's just that our home is the only one our granddaughter has known and to be suddenly taken away from that, she must feel what on earth is going on.  We still have the majority of her toys.  Each week is getting easier.... thank  you again for your response.
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