Djstarcool
Hello I am new to this website and am looking for advice. I have my nieces and nephew once a week overnight as their dad has drug and social issues and their mum, my sister is a drug addict and not around. I have been having them every week for five years and now my ten year old niece is saying she does not want to stay with me anymore. Her mum has popped up again and another aunt both promising her the world and disappearing again. Last three weeks niece has been very naughty nasty saying hurtful things about me and making lies up about me. She keeps saying she does not want to stay with me but we have been making her come and she has been horrible the whole time. I am wondering now whether or not to make her come or say she can stay at home. I am worried that our relationship will break down if I let her pull away. Please help
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and trouble situation. In a situation as unstable and ever changing as the one your niece is in, children tend to act up quite a lot. It's very difficult on them when people keep coming in and out of their life. It makes it hard for them to believe that anyone will stay around, it makes it hard to believe anything anyone says because things change so drastically and quickly from their perspective. In these situations children act out for a variety of reasons, but if you stick with her and do your best things may change. Have you asked her why she's been doing these things and acting like this? Have you asked her about how she's feeling and if everything is okay with her? Whether you let her have some time away from you or not is up to you. You may find it helpful to read our articles on child behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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