Hi all, I am feeling so confused and need an outsider/2nd opinion. Sorry its a long one! I’ve been with my husband 15yrs, married for 10 with a 5yr & 2yr.
We have some issues going on for a few months, the most important to him that we are very rarely intimate anymore, and me that he works so many hours that he is never home and doesn’t help enough when he is home.
We had another argument last week were he said this is getting too much all arguing and we need to move past it, I feel like we need to resolve the issues, he said I made a sarcastic comment so he got so angry that he punched the door, he then threatened to punch my head in twice. Our 2yr old was in same room.
this is first time he has ever threatened me but not the first time his anger is so much that he has punched walls/doors. He also shouts and swears and name calls when we argue which I hate and always refuse to talk any further when he gets like that.
He has apologised but will not promise to never do it again as he said I need to admit my part in it and that I am at fault too and I have to apologise and promise I will never push him that far.
My opinion is that he is the only one responsible for controlling his temper and that he needs to get help and promise me he will make sure it will never happen again. His opinion is I should apologise for my part in it and that I will never push him that far again and that I have known him long enough and should know he would never hurt me.
Neither of us are able to persuade the other and I just don’t know where to go from here, we can’t resolve any other issues as we just can’t get past this.
I would love some guidance and other opinions on this all and what you would do or think I should do