Brokenmum
Hi, im new here. I found this site whilst at my wits end searching for help with my 12 year old daughter.
Since starting high school her personality has taken a huge turn. She's angry, has a terrible attitude and will argue about anything. Me and her dad have both asked her on numerous occasions to think about her attitude and how she speaks to people but it falls on deaf ears.
Tonight she took an attitude with her dad stating he was putting on a limp (he's suffering with gout and in a lot of pain) and he snapped at her. He shouted, swore at her and pushed her across her room onto her bed. This frightened her and now she is playing the victim and claiming she wants to run away. Me and her dad spoke and he knows he overreacted but she can't see past the fact he did. When I spoke to her and pointed out calmly that her attitude was a huge factor in him exploding she wouldn't hear any of it. 
I know hormones are raging with her and high school brings out changes but I seriously need some help with her. She's bad at school too, I thought she could be a victim of bullying but she promises she isn't and loves her school. School said she's got lots of friends and is generally happy but has a bad attitude.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation. It sounds as though you're a very understanding parent, and know that communication is important. Most of what you can do is continue to talk to her, not nag her of course, but check in with her about her behaviour and the effects it has. When your a teenager it feels as though the whole world revolves around you and it can take some time to realise that it's not the case. Perhaps ask her what should would do if a friend of hers acted the same way that she does, just to change the perspective. I know it's an unsatisfactory answer but keeping at it and not giving up is usually an effective mode of action, being consistent while still being understanding and there for your daughter. You may find it helpful to read our articles on teenage behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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