ML4455
This is my first post and I’m sorry if it’s a bit long/much, I don’t really know where to begin. I’m 38+3 pregnant with my first baby and over the last week or so, have been struggling so badly with mood swings and low mood. My emotions are all over the place, most of the time I feel ok, but then out of nowhere I’ll just cry and cry and won’t be able to stop. My partner asks me why I’m crying and I have no idea. I haven’t found my partner to be particularly supportive through the process, which has been really saddening and disappointing too - when I tried to explain how I felt previously, he said “I don’t know what to say, all the pregnant women I’ve known have been happy”, which made me feel awful and really guilty for not loving every second of the pregnancy. I pointed out that he wasn’t in a relationship with these women, as they were friends/colleagues, and therefore he wouldn’t have ever seen how that women felt “behind closed doors” like a partner does. I don’t understand why I feel this way and so I find it really hard to explain to other people. I’m worried - worried that the baby will be still born, or he will be poorly, or I’ll be useless in labour. Worried that I won’t be a good Mum, worried that my partner will leave me. I feel so alone. I go to pregnancy yoga once a week, but find the other expectant mothers really smug so don’t feel that I can confide there either...they’re all claiming to have these “beautiful” pregnancy experiences, when literally some days all I can do is cry - when this happens my partner takes little notice or interest so I just wait until the feeling passes, but I do feel like I’m bottling it all up, so always on the verge of tears. I feel like a failure already, and the baby isn’t even here yet. I have a different midwife every time I go to an appointment, so I don’t feel like I can tell them how I feel because I don’t have a relationship with the midwife team. I tried to book a GP appointment today, but they haven’t got any free slots for almost 4 weeks. So, at the end of all that, did anyone else or anyone else’s partners experience this kind of emotional distress late in pregnancy? Is it just hormones and tiredness? Did anything work for you? Does anyone have literally any advice that could help me? Thank you in advance! 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. Everyone's pregnancy is different and not every pregnancy is a beautiful and joyous experience. We suggest talking to the midwife, even if you don't have a relationship with them, this is something they will know about and will be able to advise you on. Call your GP again and explain why it's a pressing and urgent issue. Talk to your partner and explain why he's being unsupportive and making you feel worse, you're a team and you're going to have to act like it if you're both going to raise a child. You may find it helpful to read our articles on postnatal depression, pregnancy and birth and you and your baby. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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