After 9 years together, 5 years of marriage and 6 months of separation I told my husband today I want a divorce.
We’re in our forties, we have a 4 year old together, run a business together and right now I feel so sad, broken and conflicted I suppose I just want to hear that it gets better.
I know this is the right choice. We have never had a true marriage in that we have never functioned as a team. There has always been an inequality of workload and mental load and I ultimately became more of a parent than a wife. We tried counselling but it didn’t change anything. 

He has got thin and tired since our separation. He’s visibly struggling, his hands shake and he admits he’s not taking care of himself. It hurts me to see. When I told him he said I am throwing away a marriage that could work because I need to be angry with him. I am feeling so much guilt right now.

Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. I understand that you feel guilty, but you yourself said that this is the right thing to do. If it's the right thing to do, don't let him make you feel guilty for doing what's best. Do you have anyone to talk to about how you're feeling? Friends or family? Talking to more people may help you work through your feelings and having a support network is important. You may find it helpful to read our articles on divorce and separation. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.