I find my step children (8yrs and 9yrs) so difficult. I have no idea how to deal with the stress it’s causing. They are hectic, don’t talk or eat or behave nicely and I put it down to their Mother’s lazy parenting. They over eat and brake my children’s belongings. I have tried to implement things I feel I have a responsibility to at least try, for the sake of their health, but no one listens so I have taken a step back from that. Their father, my husband, is very respectful to all of us and supports what I say in reference to my concerns. I just find them to be annoying children and feel so bad that I do. On the plus, they are responsive to me and I know I have an impact on them, it’s just all the hard work gets undone when they return to their mum. I know I need to just get over some things but I’m not sure how to, and just swallowing the issues is stunting how I feel about them. Help!!!
Hi Rose

Thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult position within your family life. I can see that you want to be able to have a positive relationship with your stepchildren but their behaviour is having an impact. I imagine you dread their stay. I wonder if it would help to try and spend some one to one time with them in a bid for them to get to know you and vice versa. It may be that they have an idea in their head about you and if you can smash their possible preconceived ideas they may start to be more positiive in their relationship with you. It might also be good to organise some structure for when they do stay and to remind them of the boundaries so they understand it. For more tips you may want to email our support service at and in the meantime, please check out our stepfamily online advice