Have you tried couples therapy? Or perhaps therapy of your own and an ultimatum for her to get therapy as well for 6 months on her own and maybe then come together for couples therapy. If you keep having the same conversations and nothing really changes, then she doesn't feel any pressing reason to change or work on anything. Basically you are the one with the problem in this relationship so you need to own it, and take concrete steps to remedy the situation. Personally I don't think you've tried enough to really walk out and be done with the relationship.
It is not uncommon to feel like you've grown apart from your spouse or partner, but this means you and her have work to do. Relationships do not maintain themselves and with children in the mix it can be even more challenging to make time for each other.
First and most importantly you need to take care of yourself. Most people don't want to be happy which is why they're not. Hardly anyone likes to admit that happiness is an inner choice because it puts responsibility on themselves. Once you start working on yourself it will be easier to convince your partner to grow and change with you. Ultimately, if you want something you are not getting in your life you need to start GIVING that to eventually receive it.
For example if you want love you need to be more loving, if you want her to listen to you you need to become a good listener. What you want you must become to really get in a relationship.
Best of luck mate