Fionag66
My son is 17. I'm divorced from his dad. He has been smoking weed since he
 Was 14. He has had a couple of jobs for money. Gave up his last job. Has had 275 in the last 2 weeks from his wages and it has gone! When we have had calm chats he enjoys that lifestyle and wont stop. He has 2 baths a day for an hour at a time. Will not do anything for anyone unless it's for his benefit.  He was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 14. Around the time he started with the weed. He goes out with mates daily and has a girlfriend and goes to parties etc so his mental health doesnt stop him. And the weed wont help. Trying to cut a long story short here. I have had enough. He swears constantly at me. Threatens to smash a window if I tell him to go to his dads. I feel like I'm living with an abusive partner. I would run for the hills if he was a man in my life. I really have had all the advice and tried everything.  I need him to get out of my house and live elsewhere. I was in a and e last week with chest pains. Turned out to be gerd... but brought on by stress.  We argued last night and I've had 4 hours sleep. Woken with pain in my chest again. Any advice welcome x
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Nick Holas
It is reasonable that if he is not in education or training then he should contribute a proportion of his earnings or benefits to the household bills. If he refuses to do this and he is just chilling out/partying at your expense then it seems to me you don’t have any choice but to kick him out. Sounds like he could go to his Dad’s if he has to and then he can see if his Dad is prepared to put up with his behaviour. 
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katiem
Hi Fiona, when is your son 18? How would you feel about giving him the condition that once he is 18 he can stay but must contribute £ to staying at home. In the meantime it sounds like all you can do is reiterate your boundaries with how he speaks to you. Easier said than done I know. What is your relationship like with his girlfriend, could she be an ally?
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. Have you considered contacting Social Services? You can read more about them here. If you do want to contact them, you can do it through your local council. He's seventeen, which means he is free to live where he pleases, and if you're not comfortable with him living with you, he doesn't have to. Do you have any family or friends who you can rely on to discuss this with? It sounds as though talking to your son isn't going to be a road you're able to go down, and it seems like you've tried everything. You may find it helpful to read our articles on teenage behaviour and teenagers and drugs and alcohol. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or contact us through our live chat service which is open, Monday to Friday between 1.30pm and 5.30pm or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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