Gem33
My 14 year old has become increasingly angry, anxious and violent to the point she went to attack me and my son intervened and ended up with a broken wrist. I sought help from hospital, children's services, school and GP and she has been to see GP today (after refusing for a year). She has painted a picture of a really unhappy home life saying all I do is scream and shout and I love my sons more. The GP basically said her behaviour is all my fault because I discipline her when she is kicking off and I should spend more time with her on her own (I stopped because she always kicks off) and he said I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship when she asked me to leave and so I didn't consider her feelings. I have a son with the man and I cant get rid of him out of our lives so I am always dealing with some issue with him. I already have an immense amount of guilt about how I didn't cope with the situation well and my children have seen me cry and become anxious. I went to the GP for help but now I feel like a massive failure and like I have ruined my kids lives. We have to go forfamily therapy but I just feel like it's all too late. My ex partner is already using the accident against me and I don't know what to do for everyone if I'm the problem.
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. Quite frankly, your GP is out of line blaming a victim for someone else's pain. They are there to offer medical help, not give parenting advice or judge you for your choices. Many people stay in abusive relationships, even with children, for many reasons as I am sure you're aware and are not responsible for that abuse. You may find it helpful to call Women's Aid, they're a charity that helps women who are or have been in abusive relationships, you can contact them many ways via their information page. Children act out for all sorts of reasons, she could be simply rebelling or reacting to unresolved issues due to being in an abusive environment. If you feel your daughter needs therapy then you can refer her yourself through the NHS page here. You could also complain about the doctor at your GP surgery and ask for a different doctor. You may find it helpful to read our articles on teenage behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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Gem33
Thank you very much for your reply, which has offered me some reassurance. I have contacted womans aid and I am awaiting a call back. Thank you again 
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familylives
Hi, no problem, we're glad we could be of help. 
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