My dd is just over 3 1/2 and there are a number of things going on that are worrying me and I wonder if they are all linked to something more serious and we should seek help.
Firstly sleep, bedtime is fine but my daughter is unsettled numerous times in the night, getting up and wandering around, singing, chatting or generally restless. This results in me having to wake her up for nursery (and resultant tantrums to get out the door) or on the weekends sleeping in until past 9am. She never bothers us, so I only know from watching her on the baby monitor. Gro clocks etc have had no effect. Her behaviour becomes awful by the end of the week as she is so tired.
Secondly, masturbation. She does it all the time. One minute she can be playing with toys and then you turn round and she's lieing on her front playing with herself through her clothes. Sometimes really intensely getting out of breath and red faced. She does it in public, at nursery (I've been called to the side by her teacher at drop off) at every opportunity.
Finally her social interaction, when on play dates, she plays on her own and doesn't join in most of the time. Can't sit still and pay attention to someone reading a story (at library story time for example).
Alot of the time she can be a happy, jolly thing (she knows what she likes and knows when and how she wants to do stuff) but this just doesn't feel right.
I've spoken to HV team numerous times and tried various strategies such as decoys for the masturbation.
Full disclosure, we also have a 6mo and the HVs are always quick to say it's a reaction to the baby. But I feel these behaviours are too intense to just blame the baby. She is very loving towards her sister and shows very little resentment towards her.
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation. The health visitor and your doctor will always know more than us. Even if she isn't showing resentment toward her sister, she can still be craving attention and acting out for the attention she feels she's lacking. You may find it helpful to read our articles on challenging behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.