Roger Perfect
I left my wife and 2 children 18 months ago, but I am struggling. I left as I was unhappy with my marriage and very quickly moved on to live with someone else. My kids are now 19 and 20 and my expectations was that the older they are the better they would be to accept, but it has not been the case. I have tried twice to move back in and try again, but I was probably doing out of sympathy and missing my kids only. Apart from the times I went back, my interactions with the kids have been virtually nothing. My daughter blocked me for the first 12 months and following the second time I tried unsuccessfully to return in September, she has ignored my messages. My son was slightly better as I helped him get a new job in October, but he has also ignored my messages since November. The divorce is ongoing with the finances being discussed and currently not on any talking terms with wife. I paid all bills since I left 28 months ago, but since November I have moved as many as possible over to my wife to pay. I believe this change has only caused my kids to think worse of me and because of their age, my wife will not get a property that will guarantee 2 or 3 bedrooms, therefore the end game will be my kids being homeless. I am still with the same person I moved on with, who they see as the cause of the divorce, so no chance kids will want to move in with me. I had no contact over xmas and both birthdays have passed in the last week with no communication back to me. I am really struggling that my choice to be happy with someone else has caused me to lose all contact with my kids. The longer it goes on the more we are becoming strangers and I need help to either accept the situation or ideas to potentially provoke them to want to contact the dad that looked after them both for 18 years of their lives. Thanks
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. Your children might just need time, as the divorce is ongoing and everything is still up in the air, they may feel conflicted. Perhaps you could give them some space, contact them on important days and let them know that you're there, but give them room to sort the situation out for themselves. As I understand it, they're both adults, surely they can sort out their own housing, maybe it's time for them to take some responsibility on that front. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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