Lou67
Hi
First post on here and I'm not sure I'd this site is designed for all ages/issues of family members(?)
I'll post my initial/latest issue and someone will hopefully tell me is I'm on the right site or not!

I'm am currently going through a health scare, I've experienced post menopausal bleeding and have had distressing physical tests done and awaiting results. I've to go for a womb lining biopsy which they'll need to knock me out for as I couldn't complete it at the appointment for the initial tests because I was so distressed.
My Mum is 81 and has offered to go with me.  The problem is she has never been very assertive and always did here around me asking me what she wants me to do making the responsibility on me all the time but she's making out she is helping.

So... she now lives 53 miles from me and my hospital is 6 miles from me in the opposite direction.  My mum has suggested I go to hers the night before and we go together to the hospital in the morning - appointment 11.40.

Her suggestion just doesn't make sense to me - I'm the patient! and will not exactly be in the frame of mind for that and then there's after the appointment.....

Any advice welcome 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult situation for you, but what is stopping you from telling her no? It seems apparent to me that you don't want her there and you've made clear that it's an inconvenience. You're clearly an adult and so is your mother, you don't have to tell her outright that you don't want her there with you but it's clear that you have to put your foot down. You can use the inconvenience of her proposition as an excuse maybe? Since this is obviously a stressful situation adding extra stress doesn't seem optimal, perhaps you could bring that up while talking to her. Do what's best for yourself, you're the one who has the hospital appointment, put yourself first. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or contact us through our live chat service which is open, Monday to Friday between 1.30pm and 5.30pm or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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