adrianb
Good evening all. I'm new to the group, and am looking for some advice.
My ex and I separated close on five years ago and our two daughters live with her and her new partner.
I only see my daughters every second weekend for two days, which they are not happy with, to be honest, neither am I. My problem at the moment is my eldest has decided, for some or other reason, she does not want to come out with me. Why? I don't know, and if someone else knows they're not telling me. My youngest still comes out with my, so that's good. Untill this evening, on the way back home, I was asked. Why can't I live with you, and not with mommy. This broke my heart. Spent the rest of the trip fighting back the tears. Got her home and she point blank refused to get out the car. I'm just so scared that this will have an effect on her mental well-being. 
My ex won't listen to me when I try talk to her about it. Says it's just kids being kids.
Quote
Sam B
Have you tried contacting the school to get a counsellor to see her?

Do you have shared parenting as this is possible 💜

One other route is to ask for meditation for you and your ex to discuss issues 

Good luck on your journey 💜
Quote
familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. It's unfortunate that your ex seems unwilling to listen to your concerns. It can often be just kids being kids, she had a good time and it seems more fun because it seems like a holiday to her and she doesn't have to do chores or something along those lines. It could also be truthful, I can't tell you which as I don't know your daughter. The best you can do is to explain the situation to your daughter about why she can't come stay with you in a way she can understand and do your best by her. You may find it helpful to read our articles on shared parenting. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
Quote
adrianb
After I lot of gentle persuading and even more leading questions, I now know what my is bothering my youngest daughter. She's being bullied at school. After being of school for about two weeks, being ill, and a mysterious rash I now know why. I think she is showing signs of anxiety. Not wanting to go back to school for fear of being bullied. 
My ex contacted the school, and told them our concerns, the answer, we will keep an eye on the situation. She did however go back, the girl who is bullieng her was not there, so she had a good day. All the tears and unhappiness over the past few weeks all due to this.
Quote
familylives
Hi, it's great that you were able to get through to her and have her open up to you. Being bullied can be very difficult and alienating, children often feel as though it is their fault and don't go to their parents for that reason. We have a lot of articles on bullying you may find helpful. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
Quote