Magdalena
Hi, I am with my partner from over a year, he got 9 year old boy and I have 7 year old son. Kids are playing like any other ones they play and laught, they get anger on each other and mad and again they play tight toys, games or on days out they play together. My 7 year old boy always had some rules like respect me and others, help kids who need help for example after accident, always say sorry and with that my son is really serious because he even can say sorry many times, start crying and saying that he is bad guy after he harm someone accidentally or because of no knowledge that it might happen. My partner son is older and I always through that he will learn my son how to behave or how to play Xbox (we never had one before I meet my partner) or how to do some phicical exercises/challenges. We have big problem with his behave, he trying to make his rules, he doesn't say sorry at all, always says: "because he did that first", "I did not hit him I just touched" etc. He is so good with lying that he can start crying to not get in trouble, when I want to put him in to a corner I need to repeat that like 4 times because his answers are why or I don't want to. I tried to talk with him, make examples using his friends/family what other children dont doing that, board with rules and if they follow them they will get pocket money, I asked him if he's got any idea what else we can do to change his behaviour or help him to change, of course he's got no idea. I even asked if he is not happy to live with me and my son, he keep saying that he want to live with us and do not want to move out with dad. I am talking with friends with hope that they will give me any idea what else I can do or change, searching for answers online, maybe some book about bad behaviour for 9+ year old kid to show or explain him what kind of problem is that?? I just do not want to make him feels worse because he always get in trouble and my younger son don't because that won't solve the problem and I can not punish my son when my partner child makes troubles. Anyone any ideas? 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and troubling situation. Even though it has been a year, it can still take time for a child to adjust to a new living situation. It may seem alarming that a child can lie, but they usually do this to try to get out of trouble. Maybe instead of explaining things to him, you can ask him why he does these things and assure him that he will not get in trouble for telling to truth, that you just want to understand and help him. Perhaps his father could have this conversation with him. You may find it helpful to read our articles on child behaviour and step-families. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or you can call us on our freephone helpline at 0808 800 2222. 
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