Flutterby1
Hi. I have  3 daughters, my eldest 2 are very independent and have been from being teens, however my youngest one just doesn't take responsibility though constantly seeks advice then ignores it. 
She's always been similar, she left home as she wanted to leave college and hasn't worked or been involved in any training at all. She currently has a lovely 3 year old but just sees problems, she got married a couple of years ago only to leave him a few weeks later.
I'd spent a fortune on the wedding and had tried to discourage her from getting married as I knew she just saw it as a party
She moved 20 miles away from us, stating that she had support in the town she's in but she has nobody-literally. Neither of us drive and I work shifts -mainly nights so it makes it hard to keep in physical contact
She's now 20 weeks pregnant by a lad she had only just met, and her midwifes been calling me concerned that she doesn't attend appointments and was considering placing a referral to social services. My daughter got a dog last year despite family advice not to and she's now trying to get rid of her and wanting a cat-she has a lovely house but it's a total mess all the time , rubbish everywhere and filthy. I'm terrified how she'll manage with the baby and even the birth-she's nothing arranged for someone to watch her daughter and we can't just drop everything if I'm at work but she doesn't see this. She constantly looks at what other people have, holidays, cars etc and wants the same but is on benefits so can't. I feel as though I still have  teenager and at a time I feel I should be having things easier they're harder than ever. My eldest 2 have had enough and said that they're fed up of being asked advice which is constantly ignored. 
She's always asking to come along on days out with my partner and I but we can't always afford to take her also and are just beginning to enjoy some freedom after caring for my mum for 5 years who had dementia and passed away last year. I feel as though I'm not allowed a life and she sucks it out of me. It may seem a harsh message but she's lost all her friend and network due to being the same with them
Any advice would be welcome, I love my daughter but just feel so anxious 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and upsetting situation. You're not being harsh, you're being realistic. It's your life and you get to do what you want with it, it's not your responsibility to take your adult daughter out or do anything else for her. She's an adult and should be able to do things for herself. Maybe, if you do as your other daughters have been, then she might learn something and grow. If you're worried about the safety and wellbeing of your daughter's children, then we suggest contacting Social Services, they're not just there to remove children from their families, they're there to support and aid families. Here's more information on Social Services. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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