Laban

This is a hard one... so my son is a big 8 yr old boy (currently in age 10+ clothes) It’s just me and him, his dad lives overseas and we have no contact! Never have, not relevant! If he asks, I’m always positive and tell him he loves him very much and he can see him if he wants to when he’s older! But anyway... 

Over Xmas he was refusing to go to bed on occasion! (Digital goes at 6pm- bed from 7pm) So I took away the digital explaining that if he’s rude it goes until he apologies then he can have it the next day! When I did this he would then turn violent punching me in the arm and back! The punches were hard and I’d bruise easily from them! He would almost turn into a monster, red faced and furious punching me repeatedly any way he could! Some evenings it would be so bad I’d have to lock myself in the bathroom while he hit the door and shouted that I was stupid and to give it back! Once I could hear he’d gone away and calmed down id come out and he would act as if all was fine! It’s been so distressing and so embarrassing to have to be careful what I wear coz my arms are bruised! I’ve confided in a friend and my mum but that’s it! I’m also having CBT to help with my stress! 

I’m quite strict with what he plays there’s no fortnite or violence. He’s either watching young youtubers or on Minecraft or Roblox! I check and monitor any chats etc too! 

For now it’s stopped and he’s been stroppy but nothing more! He loves school, has loads of friends, has a small close knit family we see weekly, has everything he wants and more, is clever, lives in a lovely house with his pet cat, there’s been no changes....but In November/December the violence was really tough!!! 

I need to ideally get perhaps a child therapist I know and happy to pay for one etc but just wondered if anyone has experienced a similar thing as I know it’s such a tough subject and hard to speak out about ! Thank you x 

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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and troubling situation. A form of therapy would be a great solution, you can look through the directory on the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) website, or you could get a referral through your GP (but that may take longer considering waiting lists). If the violence continues you could get in contact with Social Services through your local council, Social Services aren't just there to remove children from their homes, they're there to help families in all sorts of situations, you can read more about them here. You may find it helpful to read our articles on child behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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