Lostinstere0

Hi! So basically for the past 2-3 months my 4 year old son has been weeing all over my house multiple times a day he’s ruined the place! To the point I’m now experiencing silver fish bugs and the stench of wee is constantly there and eye watering. I’ve tried absolutely everything I can think of to get this to stop. I’ve told nursery and even all the staff are stumbled on what to do. 



it originally started a few days before his 4th birthday and I thought it was my dog at first it was only ever in the bathroom now it’s moved to every room in the house even sneaking in my room during the night to pee all over washing in the floors or in my shoes. He repeatedly goes to the same spots and when asked why it has happened he says one of the following:
I don’t know
because I want to
it keeps me naughty (? Not sure what this means)

I ask him to help clean up which goes one of two ways sometimes he will say okay sorry and get on with it 

other times he will kick up a storm and start shouting hitting and kicking me refusing to do anything at all or give a reason why it’s happened 

the reason behind the pee changes every day and it’s very frustrating 
i am really struggling to cope mentally with all of this and can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel every day I am falling further into a sinking hole of stress depression and sadness I just want to be able to help him stop this bit he shows no remorse. 


he’s even started acting out at school too now he’s not scared of any authority at all he’s been refusing to tidy up, not listening to teachers and often gets sent to the baby room” for a time out from his bahaviour.


no changes have happened at home aside from covid and I thought with a bit of normality he would be back to normal but it’s been a month of routine and he’s only getting worse

dr have gave me a SENDS form for autism and adhd to fill out along with blood tests so waiting for that to go through but I don’t know what to do or how to get through this

he really enjoys lying , even making up stories of hitting children at school to get a reaction from me but when asking staff they say it’s not happened

ive had to rip his carpets up and in his 3rd mattress in 3 months from deliberately peeing on it during the day. He’s even started taking paint off walls

we have a consistent routine and it can’t be an attention thing as he is with me all day long he’s attached to my hip I just don’t understand

it even happens during play time he was sneaking off to pee in my bed in the middle of us playing together

uve tried being angry, staying calm asking what happened then cleaning up, ignoring it , talking about it in depth daily, telling teachers and family members , taking toys away 

he’s also started doing it at my mums house as well now so it isn’t just the one setting I am really struggling with what to do and it’s put a massive strain on my relationship with my partner (step dad) he’s contemplating moving out does anyone have any answers or suggestions for me ? Ha anybody been through this before? 

 

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MeK
I am at the beginning of a similar behaviour. I wish I could help, or know what to do. Can u get referred to a psychologist? All I can think is that there is some sort of pay-off for this behaviour, it's like a control or power he has to irritate you in a way only he can...maybe it feels good, he thinks he's discovered it? Can give rewards for toilet/potty pees? Ask him what reward he would like? If you ignore it, maybe the lack of attention will bore him? Or tell him the doctor needs to examine him, as he's doing his wees strangely? 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and troubling situation. It's a great step forward that he's going for assessment. Consistency in discipline is important, however, this behaviour is so extreme, if it's affecting your relationships then maybe getting Social Services involved may grease the wheel as his behaviour seems to be escalating. Social Services isn't just there to remove children from their families, they're there to support families, you can find out more about them in our articles here. You might find Young Minds helpful, they're an organisation that helps families with children with mental health and behavioural issues, you can contact them on 0808 802 5544. You may find it helpful to read our articles on challenging behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or contact us through our live chat service which is open, Monday to Friday between 1.30pm and 5.30pm or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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