Smiller1984
Since my son turned 16 i feel like I have lost control. He stays out for days and nights on end with no contact, refuses to answer phone. Sometimes he's at his girlfriends and other times at a friends who lives in a hostel. He's getting stoned and drinking. Refuses to get a job or go to college so I've withdrawn all money I used to give him. I've begged him to come home to me and his little brother but he says he wants to be out with his friends. I'm lost. Can't force him to come home although I'm technically still responsible for him until he's 18. I suffer from borderline personality disorder and my emotions are all over the place because of worrying and stress. I struggle to emotionally attach and I worry that I have failed as his mum. Although he's had a stable upbringing and been quite privileged regardless of his dad never being involved. I have done my absolute best for him and feel like the last 16 years have just been a waste.as.hes throwing his life away.
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a troubling and upsetting situation. In times like this it's easy to feel as though you've failed, but these sorts of rebellious phases happen often and it usually has nothing to do with the parents. When a child gets their first taste of freedom, this is just one of the ways they may react. If you're worried about where your son is and you want him home, you can always call the police, he's still a child and under your care. If you're currently receiving therapy for your condition then we suggest that, if you haven't already, you discuss this with your therapist. If you're able to, find a quiet moment where he seems in a speaking mood, you could ask him what's going on with him, where he sees himself in the future, how he supposes he'll get there, without being judgmental as he may feel attacked and close up. You may find it helpful to read our articles on teenage behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222. 
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