Stressed mum 77
Hi, 
I'm.upset by my 15 year old daughter s behaviour. She is rude to me in that I talk and she says shut up I dont want to hear or screams.  She knows I back off if she screams as a) I get a head ache and b) the neighbours complain or I fear they're going to complain. Today I was going with her to th dentist but she walked off the other way.  Then hung up when I rang her. We missed a bus then a train turn she stormed off and wouldn't answer her phone. She got a bus that I could have got if.id known was getting it. I eventually met her at the dentist but so unnecessary. Theres lots or.slamming doors in my face and  just putting her headphones on. I sometimes give her a lift but mostly she gets the bus places but I've said I wont give her a.lift places if she shouts. She says want to focus on her gcses and therefore does 't help at all. I've told her she has to tidy her room to go the cinema on sat however she says I dont care.  The thing is she rarely sees friends and recently diagnosed as dyslexic  so takes ages to do her work.  I know this isn't bad - had major difficulty with her older sister 22 who has anorexia and chronic  anxiety and still needs lots of support. I get frustrated as trying to talk to my daughter about what's coming up and help her and she puts headphones or screams the blames me when she doesn't know what's happening etc. Encourage her to use and look at calendar. Thanks
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Gem33
Hello, I can't offer any advice but I'm in a similar situation looking for advice. My daughter has started year 10 and the pressure of doing her GCSEs next year has too much. She behaves the same but has started to be violent when she gets frustrated (but only at home). She wants her homework to be perfect so gets mad if me or my sons make noise whilst she is doing it, but we are struggling to stay quiet because she takes so long to finish it. School isn't interested and I've finally managed to get an appt with GP but she is refusing to go because I haven't "asked properly". 
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Stressed mum 77

Hi Gem 33. I do feel for you. My oldest is 22 and although she has bad anxiety and anorexia she does appreciate what I do and is grateful although awful to me when having panic attacks. 
I do hope your daughter goes to the dr and they're helpful. My 15 year old. I know when I tell my daughter to do things it doesn't work but I still try to, and works when I encourage and given options, so the Dr or something else.

15 year old getting worse, I did dinner and gave her jacket potatoe which she doesn't like. I asked her to have some and leave some - she threw it on the floor and then when I asked her  clear it up she picked it up and threw again and then stood on it!  Then when I reminded her to clear up she screamed in my face.  The advise is no to get into conflict but be there for her - find it hard to take my own advce.

Hope your weekend is calm!

 

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Gem33
Hi, I put this on another post...

 
My 14 year old has become increasingly angry, anxious and violent to the point she went to attack me and my son intervened and ended up with a broken wrist. I sought help from hospital, children's services, school and GP and she has been to see GP today (after refusing for a year). She has painted a picture of a really unhappy home life saying all I do is scream and shout and I love my sons more. The GP basically said her behaviour is all my fault because I discipline her when she is kicking off and I should spend more time with her on her own (I stopped because she always kicks off) and he said I stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship when she asked me to leave and so I didn't consider her feelings. I have a son with the man and I cant get rid of him out of our lives so I am always dealing with some issue with him. I already have an immense amount of guilt about how I didn't cope with the situation well and my children have seen me cry and become anxious. I went to the GP for help but now I feel like a massive failure and like I have ruined my kids lives. We have to go for family therapy but I just feel like it's all too late. My ex partner is already using the accident against me and I don't know what to do for everyone if I'm the problem.

I feel really upset that I have tried to help my daughter and it's been turned around on me because when she was at GP she was calm and not erratic. I know that I have put my anxieties on her and I already have immense guilt that she's so upset, without being told I basically am a liar and she is a lovely child and I make her angry, but he hasn't witness the flip side where I don't say a thing and she flips. 

I hope you have had a calm night and that it continues x
 
 
 
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familylives
Hi, I understand that this is a difficult and troubling situation. This could just be a case of a teenager being a teenager, she may be rebelling. However, if you find her behaviour worrying and confusing, you can discuss it with your GP and perhaps get a referral, which you may have already through with your eldest. Have you asked her why she does these things, if something happened or something changed to make her so easily upset? I know it's difficult and probably not the advice you want to hear, but keep at it with her as I'm sure you're trying your best. You may find it helpful to read our articles on teenage behaviour. If you feel you need further support please e-mail us at askus@familylives.org.uk or call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 2222.
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